BLONDES. Hotter than brunettes. (See BRUNETTES.)

BREAD. No one knows what filth goes into it.

BRUNETTES. Hotter than blondes. (See BLONDES.)

CELEBRITIES. Concern yourself about the least details of their private lives, so that you can run them down.

COMPROMISE. Always recommend it, even when the alternatives are irreconcilable.

CONCERT. Respectable way to kill time.

CONTRALTO. Meaning unknown.

CONVERSATION. Politics and religion must be kept out of it.

COOKING. In restaurants, always bad for the system; at home, always wholesome; in the South, too much spice, or oil.

CROSSBOW. The ideal occasion to bring up the story of William Tell.

EXERCISE. Prevents all diseases. Recommend it at all times.

GUERRILLA. Does more harm to the enemy than the regular forces.

ORIGINAL. Make fun of everything that is original, hate it, beat it down, annihilate it if you can.

RAILWAY STATIONS. Gape with admiration; cite them as architectural wonders.

STOCKBROKERS. All thieves.

STOCKEXCHANGE. “Barometer of public opinion.”

TEETH. Are spoiled by cider, tobacco, sweets, ices and drinking immediately after hot soup.

TOYS. Should always be scientific.

by Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)



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